To give you a sense of what happened and when, I've put together this
This timeline represents my best efforts to reconstruct what
happened to me and when.
Fr. Timothy Dolan -- now Timothy Cardinal Dolan -- arrives at Immacolata.
Fr. LeRoy Valentine arrives at Immacolata.
The Archdiocese of St. Louis starts offering Face to Face
(FtF) confession instead of Dark Scary Room (DSR) confession. I have been going to DSR confession for at least a year. I
start going to Fr. Valentine for FtF in the East cry room at
Immacolata. Fr. V initiates a tradition of hugging me at the end
of our FtF confession sessions. I'm ambivalent. I like the
physical contact but it goes on for an awkwardly long time. And
increasingly so. My head always ends up in his crotch.
1977 Late Fall
Risk Party at the Rectory in late October or early November.
Majority of leaves have fallen from the trees. Just a few still
hanging on. There were four of us present at the Risk Party. I
think RB, TM, AM, and me.
First time I pass out in Fr. Valentine's presence.
Downstairs by the cafeteria outside the door of the meeting
room. He comes up behind me and surprises me. I've never had a
problem with fainting before, so much that I've never heard the
word "fainting." I think they're saying "faking."
Fr. Valentine molests a boy during his first
confession (FtF). This is probably TS.
Best guess for
That Day. Mom & Dad at Greenbriar right before and over 4th
Problem with Encopresis starts.
Second time I pass out in Fr. Valentine's presence, this
time at the
first all-school mass of the year.
Yes it was warm, but they always cranked the A/C. And I never
had a problem with passing out during mass before, not even
during the marathon Easter Week services.
1980 December 26
Trip to the Mud Cave.
Fr. Valentine is moved to MQP. He stays at MQP for only one year.
Moved back to St. Louis for grad school at Wash U.
Immediately start having problems with depression and go
to see psychologist in early 1993. Given the Book "Feeling Good"
and learn about CBT.
First re-enactment of penetration when Laura goes home to St.
Louis for Easter and leaves me alone for a week or so.
Move back to St. Louis from Phoenix.
Second re-enactment (of penetration) while I am in Portland,
OR for two weeks.
Moving back to St. Louis, and especially moving in from
Innsbrook, flips a switch and suddenly I'm
having huge amounts of gender confusion problems. I had none in
The story about Fr. Valentine's troubled history breaks in the New York Times on
March 3, 2002 and Valentine's resignation is discussed on
March 28, 2002. In early/mid March 2002 I have...
- Multiple conversations with
Timothy Dolan. He tells me nothing happened.
- One conversation with an Archdiocese-affiliated psychologist
who I assume was Nancy Brown. Her office was at
141 N Meramec in Clayton I think in suite 25 or 23.
She told me nothing happened. That I was just
Bryan is in 2nd grade and makes his first reconciliation. He goes to DSR side and I go to F2F
side of confessional on West wall with pastor of St. Elizabeth. I have the first panic attack I've had since 7th grade. It
comes from out of the blue. I hadn’t given the Fr. Valentine
thing any further thought, because both
Timothy Dolan and the Archdiocesan Psychologist told me that
Law and Order Criminal Intent episode
Eosphoros first airs.
It is a fictionalization of the story of the murder of Madalyn
Murray O'Hair. In the
episode, the detectives comment that people often have panic attacks
when taken back to a place where something bad happened.
That made me
wonder if there was something to my recollections about Fr.
Valentine, because of what happened during Bryan’s first
confession. The panic attack. But I blew it off because Cardinal Dolan and
the archdiocesan psychologist said nothing happened.
MK makes her first confession and I have a second panic attack at
confession, this time with Fr. Meier in the F2F side of the
confessional on the East wall.
I start obsessing about baseball and pitching mechanics and
first e-mail Dr. Mike Marshall on April 29, 2005 with "Questions
About 9/10 Year-Old Pitchers."
I'm becoming physically and psychologically isolated at work.
Contacted New York Times writers about Fr. Valentine story
from 2002 because the repeated panic attacks during Face To Face
confession made me start to wonder whether Fr. Valentine had
actually done something to me during confession. I didn’t know what. But I'm not
stupid. I knew I
had a problem with confession.
On the one hand, I felt like I had
dodged a bullet. That I was lucky. On the other hand I was beginning to wonder
whether I really had. I couldn’t believe that I could have spent
so much time with Fr. V but had nothing happen to me. But I couldn’t
remember anything. Well, not that much, but a few things that
made me wonder. All of which dealt with confession.
I'm laid off by Equifax. As the president of the company
said I had become, in his words, "catatonic." I was laid off
because my productivity had plummeted. I had become isolated
physically and psychologically.
First anger/rage/fear episode as I'm driving West on Adams in
downtown Kirkwood, right by the YMCA, while Laura and the kids
are in Colorado. Right before 4th of July.
ACTS retreat (retreatant). Panic attack during F2F confession
with Msgr Pieper in North room.
Thrown out of the house.
Elevator pitch presentation to jewelers. I am unable to
prepare because I am unable to think. I can't sleep. I can't
concentrate. The first time that ever happened to me. I huess it
was a panic attack, but it lasted for days.
ACTS retreat (on team). Panic attack during F2F confession
with Fr. Meyer on South side.
Discussion with Pat S. He suggests I might be having problems
with anxiety. I think he's crazy.
2011 May 9
I have my meeting with
an Archdiocesan Review Team. At the end of that meeting
Deacon Phil Hengen
and, by extension, the Archidocese of St. Louis (again), implicitly tells me nothing happened
by giving me the book Man Enough and never saying
anything about Fr. Valentine other than that he denied what
After the meeting ends, I try to find location of office
where I met with the woman who I assume was Nancy Brown. I drive
past the building multiple times but literally can't see it.
I finally get in touch with Deacon Hengen. He tells me
Valentine denies everything. Duh. Hengen tells me he wants to my
therapist, so I sign all the papers I need to sign. But Hengen
never calls him.
Jerry Sandusky Penn State scandal comes to light.
Julie S. notices lesion on arm that turns out to be Cancer
Updated divorce and parenting plan finalized.
2013 May 10
in StLPD and RFT about Fr. Valentine's removal.
Approach Monsignor Richard Hanneke while working at St.
Elizabeth of Hungary. Tell him of the problems I was having
getting Deacon Phil Hengen to help me.
2013 November 27 at 10am
Met with Monsignor Richard Hanneke and told him my story and
the problems I was having getting help. We had a follow-up
conversation a few days later in which he told me all I could do
was work through
Deacon Phil Hengen at which point I realized
this wasn't a
bureaucratic screw-up but a strategy.
Filed lawsuit against Archdiocese of St. Louis.
Surgery to remove Cancer (Malignant Melanoma) from
right arm. Literally the next day I was contacted by Jeff Passan
who wanted to taunt me about his upcoming book
Settled lawsuit against ArchStL due to problem with Statute
Of Limitations (SOL) created by Dolan's Gaslighting me and
Hengen's giving me the Run-Around. The pay me $15,000 and I net
2018 February 5
Receive Sandra Price e-mail admitting it happened.
I wanted to respond
to you on behalf of the Archdiocese of Saint Louis.You chose to
litigate (LIE) your claims of sexual abuse by Rev. Leroy Valentine.
YOUR CLAIMS WERE ACKNOWLEDGED by Deacon Phil Hengen
(LIE), the Archdiocese of Saint Louis (LIE) and the
court system. This matter has been fully settled through
litigation and is final. Because your claim has been fully
settled and is final the Archdiocese of Saint Louis will not
be responding to any further inquiries regarding these
claims. Please know that YOU AND ALL VICTIMS OF ABUSE are in
my prayers and I do hope that you are able to find peace in
the future. I wish you the best.
Archdiocese of St. Louis
2018 March 27
I send the following e-mail to Sandra Price.
In the spirit of Holy Week, I'm
begging you to please answer one question for me.
sake of my mental health and sanity.
Are you admitting it
I think that's what your previous e-mail was
implying, but could you please say it out loud?
help me tremendously to hear you and the Archdiocese of St.
Louis say it clearly and unambiguously.
2018 March 29
Two days after sending the e-mail above to Sandra Price of ArchStL
I'm visited by two detectives from the Shrewsbury police
department. They seem to think I'm planning an assassination.
2018 April 21
Aisha Sultan piece published in St. Louis Post-Dispatch.
2018 May 1
I send the following e-mail to Deacon Bernie
Nojadera of the
USCCB and cc Sandra Price, Gabe Jones, and Elizabeth Westhoff of
An(y) update on what's going
on in St. Louis?
Things are still terrible for survivors.
I spoke publicly
for the first time
in this piece.
Gabe Jones commented on it...
record of Mr. O’Leary’s allegations are significantly different;
however, due to a court order as well as our own ethical
obligation, we are not at liberty to discuss Mr. O’Leary’s
case.” Jones also said the information O’Leary shared initially
changed multiple times by the time he broke off communication
with the Office of Child and Youth Protection."
interesting thing about Mr. Jones' statement is the phrase
"changed multiple times." The only way he could allege that is
by admitting that my 2002 conversation with Timothy Cardinal
Dolan took place, a conversation that was denied during my 2011
meeting with Deacon Phil Hengen and the Review Team.
I'm glad ArchStL is now acknowledging my conversations with, and
my Gaslighting by, Cardinal Dolan.
Jones' statement contradicted what Sandra Price told me...
I wanted to respond to you on behalf of
the Archdiocese of Saint Louis. You chose to litigate your
claims of sexual abuse by Rev. Leroy Valentine. Your claims were
acknowledged by Deacon Phil Hengen, the Archdiocese of Saint
louis and the court system. This matter has been fully settled
through litigation and is final. Because your claim has been
fully settled and is final the Archdiocese of Saint Louis will
not be responding to any further inquiries regarding these
claims. Please know that you and all victims of abuse are in my
prayers and I do hope that you are able to find peace in the
future. I wish you the best.
her e-mail was full of Gaslighting, but she did say the key
"you and all victims of abuse"
sum, things are just as terrible as ever for survivors in St.
How is a survivor supposed to find peace, much
less feel like children are safe and survivors will be cared
for, when the Archdiocese of St. Louis refuses to acknowledge
Of course, I'm writing about all of this in my
Sandra Price on this both because she is involved and because
the last time I e-mailed her, she sicced the police on me and
told them I was planning and assassination.
unpleasant, but I expect nothing less -- or more -- from the
Archdiocese of St. Louis.
have had damning experiences with Cardinal Dolan and was
recently contacted by someone who did as well.
Be sure to
let him know the truth will out.
And, knowing that this
e-mail will be forwarded to the police, I want you and everyone
to know that by "the truth will out" I am in no way threatening
you, them, or anyone physically.
What I am doing is
affirming my conviction to tell the truth and the whole truth.
I'll be watching for the white vehicle of the Shrewsbury
police to sit outside my house like it did this weekend.
The next day my mom calls me and tells me the Webtster Groves police
want to talk to me. They tell me
someone called them and told them they were concerned I was
going to hurt myself or someone else.
2019 May 25